Where’s the Nipple??

I saw an ad recently for a jeweled bikini style top. (I don’t know fashion lingo so feel free to school me on it in the comments or a pm.)

jewelboobsThe top is cute. Sexy. Perfect for a water based boudoir photo shoot or some intimate personal time with a lover. Or just to stare at yourself in the mirror feeling like the Goddess that you are!


One thing bugged me. Bugged the shit out of me actually! There were no nipples in the picture. And there’s no mesh or fabric or anything. It was like looking at nipple-less breasts! And in cases where there has been a mastectomy and the nipples are removed, that is one thing and not offensive or even disturbing in my mind but a form of beauty that goes deeper. No it wasn’t that. It was literally a pair of tits without the nips.  

Why are we so offended by women’s nipples in this culture? Or so titillated?? It’s just a nipple. It’s how a baby gets fed. And yes it can be a source of sexual stimulation, but let’s be honest, done right, any body part can be! A good lover can turn me on holding my hand or giving me a foot massage! So don’t tell me it’s because it’s a sexual thing. Or we wouldn’t be able to look at pictures of humans. And that’s bs anyway because companies do everything they can to sexualize ads pushing that line as hard as they can!

I’ve been with men that were turned on by stimulating their nipples and yet they can walk around topless! So why are their nipples allowed? Those worthless things can’t even feed babies! And let’s face it, they’re not a pretty as a woman’s.

It’s also important to note. Not all women have tiny perky nipples. And that’s a good thing! Some women have huge areolas that take up half their breasts. Some have super long pointy nipples. Some have nipples that face 2 different directions, or straight down. They are all beautiful and would look divine in that jeweled top and deserve to be shown in all their areola glory.

Due to our cultural weirdness about women’s nipples lots of women with their gorgeous large nipples or pokey pointy nipples, feel uncomfortable going without a bra. They feel a level of shame that their nips need covering. They’ll wear padding even when their breasts are large just to stop those offensive points from poking out from even under their underwire!

Why?? I’m seriously asking. Why are women’s nipples so shocking that even in an ad for a top that clearly allows nipples to show thru, the nipples are photoshopped out! Hidden. Disguised! It’s just as distracting and quite frankly misleading. I mean sure. We all know we won’t look like the models in most clothes advertised but this completely removes all nippliage and feels very confusing. There is this kind of underlying thing in our minds as women and maybe men too, that when we see a “model” or actress they represent the ideal. They represent for us an impression of what we are striving to be. (Which brings up a whole other can of worms from me but I’m not going there – yet). So when they completely remove something as important as a fucking nipple, that says to me that nipples are meant to be hidden and shamed out of the sight of people. 

Well you know what I say??

Show us the nipples! Especially when they fucking belong there like in a top where they would show under normal wear circumstances!!

That’s all I’m sayin.

I pledge to continue to do my part to help normalize the nipple. now that I can no longer breastfeed in public I’ll just keep going braless and not work to hide any poking that may be occurring. You’re welcome.


PS – my wordpress seems to think that areola isn’t a word and keeps trying to correct it. The word fuck and shit seem to get by the dictionary corrections so it isn’t because it is a ‘bad word’. It must be because our eyes are too delicate to even see the word areola typed out in a blog post without being titillated or offended so they keep trying to change it to alveolar. That’s much better apparently. Then thinking about nipples!

NIPPLES!! (Sorry for yelling but it felt necessary)

What do you see?

When you look in the mirror what do you see? Can you hear your thoughts? They probably move pretty fast. Slow down and listen. Would you say that to your best friend? Your spouse? Your kids? If not, then please stop saying it to yourself!


Now take charge a minute. What would you love to hear from someone else in your life? Maybe you wish your partner told you how beautiful you are every day? Maybe you wish someone had told you how smart you are when you were a kid instead of always focusing on how cute you looked in your Sunday dress? Maybe you wish someone in your life said thank you for all you do for them?

Say it to your reflection right now. All the things you want others to say to you. Out loud! No cheating!!


Feel the feelings that come with hearing these words. Is it uncomfortable? Is it lovely? Does it feel so good? Does it feel odd? No judgement, just notice how your body reacts.


Now do this every morning. I mean it. Every. Single. Morning.

You are beautiful inside and out. You deserve all the amazing things the world has to offer and not because you did anything but because you are. You are worthy. Your body is perfect just the way it is, even if it isn’t the way you want it to be. Even if you are sick or tired or out of shape (whatever the fuck that means – your shape is perfect you may just wish you were stronger), your body is perfect in its NOW.

You can embrace and love yourself exactly the way you are in this moment and every moment and simultaneously strive to be a better version of yourself. But it has to start with loving yourself where you are now.


So say it. To your face! Every day. I love you Beautiful. You are an amazing human. I am so grateful to be here. Thank you so much! And damn you’ve got a great rack!!

How Does Not Wearing a Bra = Radical Self Love??

How Does Not Wearing a Bra = Radical Self Love??

I am kind of the queen of drawing long distant barely relating conclusions. Well, actually I’m the Queen of not wearing a bra but then also of drawing a very long line from one thing to another and making them relate.

Case in point – No bra = Radical Self Love

Disclaimer! I get this a lot so I feel the need to disclaim it every time. You do not have to give up your precious bra to have this feeling! (Tho I will constantly recommend it) Some women are so attached to their bras and so offended that I’d suggest they ever even let that go. I mean, they have BIG boobs, they couldn’t possibly go braless! Never mind the fact I’m a C cup…. But I am not saying you must give it up, just asking you to explore that feeling with me a bit. So please don’t message me about your big boobs (unless it’s a picture of them under a shirt with no bra – I love it when people send me those!) Don’t message me about your issues with needing a bra. I get it.

Ok, back to my point. My very long windy line….

Let’s be honest. Even the most comfortable bra of all time isn’t that friggin comfortable. When you return home at the end of a long day or you’re getting ready for bed or the shower, you know know there’s a sigh of ahhhhhh as that sucker comes unlatched. By wearing a bra we literally choose to put ourselves in a mild state of discomfort. For what? To what ends? To impress other people? To protect them from possibly seeing a nipple poke through a shirt? *gasp* To stop someone from knowing the truth about where your boobs really sit? Or how small they really are?


There is also a level of discomfort that comes from NOT wearing a bra -in public! At first. 😉 Trust me that goes away quickly! But when you weigh out your worries about what everyone else thinks about you vs how you feel in your body, you may decide, as I have, fuck it! This feels more comfortable!

And let’s face it. Bras make our breasts into this thing they are not. Pushing them up, or together or holding down our pokey nips or stopping them from falling into our armpits or adding a couple cup sizes! But this isn’t a truth. This isn’t how our breasts really look. Our yummy funbags are beautiful in their natural state! Even fake ones, which while they aren’t natural (and probably not safe) they are a woman’s choice and I practice radical acceptance of others as well as self. So even the surgically altered boobs deserve to be untethered! When we choose to not misrepresent our breasts to the worlds, when we choose to show up and say here they are in all their glory! We are radically accepting ourselves for the way we really are. When we roll those pancakes up into a ball and stuff them into a Victoria Secret torture device to try to represent ourselves as this, we aren’t truly loving and accepting ourselves for the way God(dess) made us.

Therefore, by taking your bra off and going out into the world you are proclaiming with all the non vocal cues you can muster “I love myself so much! I accept my body for the way it is in this moment! I do not put myself into contraptions to try to impress others! I love me the way I am!!”

Yeah, it’s a stretch. But stay with me folks. It only goes deeper from here!

I love you. And your gorgeous boobs!